Isn't it funny how life really is about the journey, and not necessarily the destination? Think about it. A wedding (not the marriage, just the ceremony) is a ceremony where you spend months, sometimes years, planning. Years spent planning for a single day, and usually only a few hours that day. The time spent engaged to AJ was one of my favorite seasons. I loved the "what if" in planning for one of the most special days of my life. I loved changing my mind and making choices. And then at 8:00pm on June 1st, 2012, it was all over. The time spent preparing for my wedding, 1.5 years of time btw, was all done. The season of engagement was a time where I learned more about myself and my husband than I ever had before. And in one moment, the day changes, life moves on. Or, for those of you interested in fitness, think of it this way. So often we have this image in our minds of what we want to look like or what we want to accomplish. For those of us who work hard to meet those goals, a new goal is always created. It's the learning process from goal to goal that teaches you strength, agility, and focus. It isn't necessarily the 3 unassisted pull-ups that are to be celebrated alone, but instead the hard work that was put in to achieve such a goal. (I know that's a small goal, buuuuuttt not for me.) In other words, I could not celebrate the completion of a workout without recognizing the workout itself. It's about the journey, not just the destination.
I have been smack-dab-in-the-middle of a spiritual battle for about 6 months. That's the best way I know how to describe it. I have this heavy heart that either a.) makes me think I am doing something that I am not supposed to be doing (such as being on the wrong path, etc.) or b.) makes me think that I am NOT doing something that I am supposed to be doing (such as answering a call to do something). While I am consistently frustrated with this position, I was reminded today that the journey may be what the Lord is teaching me right now. Maybe He isn't asking me to do (or not do) something. Maybe, instead, He just wants me to live life by focusing on the journey. OR, more importantly, maybe God doesn't want to reveal to me the next step in His plan until I learn whatever lesson it is He is trying to teach me on the journey to that next step. Okay. Fine. But how? How do I just sit and wait and "be okay" with not knowing the future? The answer to this question, or the best answer that I know, was given yesterday in church by a man named Don Hushbeck.
I have been smack-dab-in-the-middle of a spiritual battle for about 6 months. That's the best way I know how to describe it. I have this heavy heart that either a.) makes me think I am doing something that I am not supposed to be doing (such as being on the wrong path, etc.) or b.) makes me think that I am NOT doing something that I am supposed to be doing (such as answering a call to do something). While I am consistently frustrated with this position, I was reminded today that the journey may be what the Lord is teaching me right now. Maybe He isn't asking me to do (or not do) something. Maybe, instead, He just wants me to live life by focusing on the journey. OR, more importantly, maybe God doesn't want to reveal to me the next step in His plan until I learn whatever lesson it is He is trying to teach me on the journey to that next step. Okay. Fine. But how? How do I just sit and wait and "be okay" with not knowing the future? The answer to this question, or the best answer that I know, was given yesterday in church by a man named Don Hushbeck.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
The above passage says, first, to rejoice. Instead of dwelling on the things that you can't do or you don't know, rejoice in the things that you CAN do, and you DO know. Instead of me spending my off time with such a heavy heart due to the unknown future, I should spend my free time recognizing my current purpose and rest in that. Second, use the Lord! This sounds funny. But it is time, for those of us who have accepted the Lord as our Savior, that we pray! Pray like never before! I should be praying, in my weaknesses, "Lord, Tell me what it is you want me to do!" I should be praying "Lord, reveal to me what it is you are trying to tell me!" Pray to the point of tears, pray to the point of vulnerability. Third, know the Word. The Lord often speaks to us through His Word. If we are spending our time praying, our answers to those prayers could come through His Word. But, how will we ever know those answers if we don't know the Word? Ohhh the conviction in my heart just got worse. But it's true! We cannot just sit and wait around for our prayers to be answered, we need to do our part in learning more about the Lord. How can the Lord trust us with those answers if He can't trust us with the smaller things (like knowing the Word)? If it is ever appropriate for me to share why the Lord has been convicting me so much over the past 6 months, I will certainly write. But until then, it's time to learn the Word better than ever before.