The last time I posted, I posted about the birth of my first son. This time, I want to post about the birth of my second son. I hesitated to write this, because I don't ever want to become a stumbling block to future moms by sharing some details about my delivery. However, this birth story, like my first, is less about me and more about my God.
Just a quick recap about my first son's birth: I desired a natural, unmedicated birth, but ended up having an emergency C-section. The Lord was obviously present through the entire journey, and that story is in the blog post previous to this one.
My desired birth plan for this delivery: An unmedicated VBAC
My doctor's suggestion: A medicated (epidural) VBAC
What actually happened: An unmedicated VBAC
Let me preface this story by saying -- after having experience both a C-section and an unmedicated "natural" birth, I can honestly say -- they both suck! They both result in babies...they both have different painful recoveries...one should not be elevated above the other. Okay, end rant.
I knew that when I got pregnant with my second son, I wanted to have a VBAC. I wanted to experience the birth with my husband, because I was placed under anesthesia for my first and did not get to watch him be born. I wanted to have my husband cut the cord, and do all those things that you see in movies. My first son's birth deepened my relationship with my husband greatly, and I expected nothing less this time around. I was grateful to have an OB that supported my desire to have a VBAC and believed me to be a good candidate for it. The rule at my hospital, however, was that I must go into spontaneous labor on my own by 41 weeks, otherwise a repeat cesarean would be scheduled. This means that induction was not an option for my hospital. My OB, and the hospital, strongly suggested the placement of an epidural so that - should something go wrong and a C-section was required, a port would already have been placed and anesthesia would not have been necessary.
My desired birth plan for this delivery: An unmedicated VBAC
My doctor's suggestion: A medicated (epidural) VBAC
What actually happened: An unmedicated VBAC
Let me preface this story by saying -- after having experience both a C-section and an unmedicated "natural" birth, I can honestly say -- they both suck! They both result in babies...they both have different painful recoveries...one should not be elevated above the other. Okay, end rant.
I knew that when I got pregnant with my second son, I wanted to have a VBAC. I wanted to experience the birth with my husband, because I was placed under anesthesia for my first and did not get to watch him be born. I wanted to have my husband cut the cord, and do all those things that you see in movies. My first son's birth deepened my relationship with my husband greatly, and I expected nothing less this time around. I was grateful to have an OB that supported my desire to have a VBAC and believed me to be a good candidate for it. The rule at my hospital, however, was that I must go into spontaneous labor on my own by 41 weeks, otherwise a repeat cesarean would be scheduled. This means that induction was not an option for my hospital. My OB, and the hospital, strongly suggested the placement of an epidural so that - should something go wrong and a C-section was required, a port would already have been placed and anesthesia would not have been necessary.
Okay, now that the rules have been stated, let me tell you the story. I began dilating at about 36 weeks, but did not have any contractions. By the time I was 39 weeks I was at about 4.5cm, still yet to have a contraction. However, my doctor was confident that my body was doing what it was supposed to (seeing how I did not dilate at all with my first son). When I went in at 40 weeks I was close to 5cm, and my doctor was still incredibly encouraging. She knew how much I wanted a VBAC, and she scheduled for my to come in at 41 weeks to either break my water or plan a C-section if I had not gone into labor yet. But before I left my appointment, she told me she was confident that I would have the delivery I wanted. She would be on call that weekend, so if she did have to break my water I would remain under her care for the delivery of my son and she would do everything she could to allow me to have the baby the way I wanted. If only I could explain the amount of prayer that went into this...it is mind-boggling. My continual prayer to the Lord was "Lord, this is my desire. I do want this delivery. But if it goes another way, you are still God and you are still good." This sounds dramatic as I type it, but it wasn't dramatic as I was going through it. At 40 weeks I began having contractions, but they continued to fizzle out. At 40 weeks and 6 days, my contractions got a bit stronger but I did not get my hopes up because they had fizzled out before. I knew that my appointment to schedule a C-section or have my water broken was the next day, so I knew my body was running out of time to do what I thought it should be doing. My husband and I went to the mall to walk around a bit and he continued to encourage me that we would see the Lord in this. He reminded me how much we saw the Lord in my first delivery, even though the delivery itself was not what I originally wanted. To say "God works everything out for our good" in this situation is an understatement. Even if He gives you something different than what you ask, the result will be for our good. And in the weeks following the birth of my first son, I felt the Lord's presence more than ever before. I knew He would do the same thing this time around. We headed home from the mall and got our toddler to bed. We were watching TV and I was telling my husband that the contractions were getting kind of tough and that maybe we should call someone to stay at our house with our toddler in case we have to leave in the middle of the night. We decided against it and continued watching TV. Not 3 minutes later, I kid you not, my water broke. I looked at my husband and told him it was time to go. We called my MIL and she headed our way. However, the contractions were getting so strong that I did not think I would be able to make it to the hospital by the time my MIL got to our house. We called a neighbor to come to our house so we could leave immediately. (Just a tiny way the Lord was working behind the scenes.) Okay I'm making this too long. We get to the hospital, I'm dilated to 7cm, and they put in the order for the epidural (because VBAC). However, things progress quickly. About an hour after I get to the hospital, they get me into a room and I immediately feel that "urge" everyone talks about. I told my nurse it was time. That meant, no epidural. The order for it still had not gone through. They called the OB on call, which was unfortunately not my OB but I can't win all of it can I?!? And my son was born an hour later. Two hours. Two hours from the time I walked into the hospital to the birth of my son. Why does this story matter? Because God. As I was in labor, I watched (and heard) my husband verbally praying out loud for me. I knew the other nurses heard him. He was praying over my body and for our son. He was praying for me to have the energy to finish this thing. Just like in the first delivery -- I saw my husband do what Jesus did for the Church and PRAY for me. I was in a lot of pain, but I think my husband is the real hero here because there are a lot of other things he could have decided to do other than pray. I was hours away from the appointment in which my OB would intervene so that my son would be born...but God granted me my desire this time and that moment was so sweet and healing. A friend of mine said that the Lord made me wait until the very last minute to force me to trust Him in that moment -- which I think was so true.
God was in the details. He gave me an OB that was supportive of my decision. He knew my neighbor would be home at the exact time we called. He knew the epidural request would be delayed because #covid and that I would be forced to have the delivery I originally desired. He knew my husband would step up and lead me in the midst of the worst pain I had ever been in. He knew that I would now be able to relate to and encourage my friends regardless of whether they delivery their babies naturally or by C-section. He knew my OB was on call the next day and would finish taking care of me for my recovery. This birth was a healing experience for me. I've now experienced a birth that went completely opposite from what I wanted, and also a birth that went exactly the way I wanted. For each, the Lord was near and equally at work, and for that -- I am grateful.